I love this time of year for the same reason many people like a new year — a fresh start. Now, I’ve talked about how not to wait until a new year to start a goal, but 2022 just seems like a great starting point for a few behaviors and mindsets that are not serving me.
As I get older, I realize that I find myself in the same predicaments every year. The more I think about it, the more I realize, something has got to give. I’ve been around the block a few times (37 to be exact) and I feel like I’m finally starting to understand the IDGAF mentality.
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Problem is, I’m a huge people pleaser. I’m an enneagram 3, so I crave being useful and helping others. I do love helping, but with that comes making myself small enough to not make any noise. I grew up being super mindful of others and how I made them feel.
To the point where I would sacrifice my comfort to make sure I didn’t hurt anyone else’s feelings. I’m a huge empath, and while that’s not a bad thing, you also don’t want to be thought of as a doormat.
Now, I could go on about a ton of other habits I’d like to break (like not waiting a week to fold the clean laundry) but for this post, I wanted to focus on more personal growth inhibitors that were not serving me.
5 HABITS + BEHAVIORS TO BREAK NOW
1. Quit People-pleasing – Do you find yourself saying yes to everything even when you don’t want to? Like, friends going out for drinks but you rather cozy up on the couch binging ‘Yellowstone’? DO it. Say no and do what feels good for you. Chances are, nobody else is looking out for your best interests so you might as well be numero uno in your life.
2. Quit Worrying About What Other’s Think – I don’t know when I started actually caring, but I hate that I do. I used to be the girl who went to audition for a professional soccer team’s dance team, with absolutely no prior dance training. Did I make a fool of myself and suffer from a sore neck for a week due to all the hair flips? YES. Did I make the team? Hell to the No. But I did it. I went out, made a complete fool of myself, and lived to tell the tale. And realized that dancing was not my thing.
When I first started blogging, I was so afraid of how I would look taking pictures in public and I wouldn’t post my YouTube videos until everything was perfect. But I’ve been getting a lot bolder and I’m loving the I-don’t-care attitude. Short answer – live like you are 2 again and do whatever the hell you want even when people tell you you can’t.
3. Stop Trying to Make Relationships Happen – I’ve run with a rather small group of close friends in my adult life. I have a hard time trusting people’s intentions so it makes it hard for me to build connections. Sometimes it’s so effortless that it sticks — I love that. And sometimes it doesn’t. When I started blogging, I tried so hard to get a group of blogger friends to share in our business-building dream. I saw so many blogger groups across Instagram and it seemed like that is what you should do.
OK, storytime…A few years ago I came across a blogger who lives near me and I also happened to know her husband from elementary and middle school. I thought we could connect (both having young kids and a love for fashion) and so I tried reaching out on IG (she seemed so nice.) I even ran into them at a local waterpark and I asked her how she was doing (she was pregnant) and I got the most dismissive, short answer ever. Eventually, I stopped trying to make it happen, but I realized that people are not always what they seem (IG is such an illusion.) So I decided, that she is not my person and that’s when I realized I was done trying so hard.
4. Stop with the Comparison Game – I think we all kind of suffer from this from time to time. I mean, it’s so hard not to when we’re constantly being bombarded with #goals on social. Then, along with the comparison comes self-doubt. Why I can’t seem to grow as fast I’d like? Why does it seem like everyone is out living their best career lives and I’m slowly dying in a cubicle? What am I doing wrong?
One thing that has helped me get out of that mindset is turning that thought around and focusing on my personal growth. So your business is not growing as fast you’d like? Did you do better than you did last year? If so, that’s a win!
5. Stop Making Excuses – I do this a lot. When it comes to me growing my business, I find myself making excuses. Maybe it’s a way to protect my heart if things don’t work out. Either way, it’s not serving me and it’s only holding me back. We have to take the leap and know it will work out, otherwise, what’s the point?
Making excuses only prolongs your goals and dreams. I truly believe making excuses is just a way to “blame” some external factor as to why we’re not meeting our goals or why it’s taking longer than usual. I’m too tired to work out, yet I’m making time to watch my favorite TV show at night (guilty!) Instead of heading to bed earlier to get up and work out.
No matter what you’re trying to accomplish this year or gain, you have to have faith in your abilities and talents. So no more excuses, K?
I hope this post resonated with you and motivated you to take a look at the last year to weed out the behaviors that were keeping you back. We don’t have time for that anymore. We have big things going on. Let me know in the comments below what’s something you’re leaving behind in 2021.