Oh the joys of parenting. Sleep deprivation, selflessness, cluttered home, the death of quiet time, endless need for caffeine (see 1st example) — it can be overwhelming. So at what time did I decide to have another? Funny how mother nature tricks you into thinking that its “not that bad” and then the second one comes along and you remember, “Why did I have another? What was I thinking?”
That’s right, it was because you wanted to grow your family. Although I keep telling myself that two is the right number for my family, I can’t help but to think about a third. I know it wouldn’t be easy for our family situation. Thankfully I have my mother-in-law living with us so she is an at home daycare provider for us. But if she was to move out, I couldn’t imagine how I would be able to afford daycare for two, much less three! It’s bittersweet when I think about my current situation. I love my girls, but am I done? It sounds so permanent when I think that THIS is it. It makes it feel like it’s the end of one part of my life. Like when you graduate high school or college, or when you move out on your own. Well for the past 4 years, I’ve been growing my family and to think that we are done with that it makes me kind of sad. I’ve had such a hard time getting rid of my maternity clothes– you know, just in case.
So when do you decided that you are done? I’m not sure, but I know that I can’t dwell on this thought for too long because I have two amazing little girls that need me to show them how to be strong, independent little ladies. I have two amazing little girls who need to be taught how to ride bikes, play sports, dance, cook and be kind, compassionate human beings.
Tough life decisions. What are yours?